Forgiveness in marriage: The role of relationship quality, attributions, and empathy

Italian husbands (n = 79) and wives (n = 92) from long-term marriages provided data on the role of marital quality, affective reactions, and attributions for hypothetical partner transgressions in promoting forgiveness. Structural equation modeling revealed that, as hypothesized, positive marital quality was predictive of more benign attributions that, in turn, facilitated forgiveness both directly and indirectly via affective reactions and emotional empathy. Unexpectedly, marital quality did not account for unique variance in forgiveness. Compared to husbands, wives’ responsibility attributions were more predictive of forgiveness, whereas empathy was a better predictor of forgiveness in husbands than in wives. The findings are discussed in terms of their implications for the burgeoning therapeutic literature on forgiveness. Intimate relationships satisfy our deepest affiliative needs and are also the source of some of our most poignant hurts. When the hurt occurs, negative feelings (e.g., anger, resentment) are common, creating a potential disruption in the relationship. One means of meeting this challenge is through forgiveness, a concept that has received remarkably little attention in science despite its pervasiveness across cultures and major religions (Worthington & Wade, 1999). Although it is a complex construct without a consensual definition, at the center of various approaches to forgiveness is the idea of a transformation in which motivation to seek revenge and to avoid contact with the transgressor is lessened and prosocial motivation toward the transgressor is increased. According to the psychotherapy literature, forgiveness helps to restore relationships, release bitterness and anger, and heal inner emotional wounds (e.g., DiBlasio & Proctor, 1993). Partners themselves acknowledge that the capacity to seek and grant forgiveness is one of the most important factors contributing to marital longevity and satisfaction (Fenell, 1993). Studies of forgiveness have recently mushroomed (for a bibliography see McCullough, Exline, & Baumeister, 1998), but little is known about forgiveness in marriage (but see Fenell, 1993; Fincham, 2000). The present manuscript draws on the growing body of forgiveness research to inform marital research on the topic. Forgiveness in social psychological research Several social psychological studies demonstrate that forgiveness is shaped by social events, and by social-cognitive processes, following an offense. Specifically, confessions and apologies accompanied by visible signs of contrition foster forgiveness (Darby & Schlenker, 1982; McCullough, Worthington, & Rachal, 1997; Ohbuchi, Kameda, & Agarie, 1989; Weiner, Graham, Peter, & Zmuidinas, 1991). In the case of unintentional transgressions, mitigating accounts by the offender, particularly partial acceptance of responsibility, have positive effects on the victim’s evaluative judgments and responses to the transgression (Gonzales, Haugen, & Manning, 1994). Attributing the transgression to external 27 Correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to Frank Fincham, Department of Psychology, University at Buffalo, The State University of New York, Buffalo, NY 14260-4110; e-mail: [email protected]. Personal Relationships, 9 (2002), 27–37. Printed in the United States of America. Copyright # 2002 ISSPR. 1350-4126/02